You Get Dirtier Crawling Out of the Hole...

It's a sunny Thursday morning here in Maryland, and I've been awake since around 5:00am-ish...don't you love the way that we've begun to add syllables to everything...this is how languages evolve....it's ok.  We'll have a million cases to add to our words in 500 more years.  Anyway, I was up so early due to the sheer excitement about crawling out of the hole.

Natasha, what hole are you referring to exactly?  The life hole that I started digging a long time ago.  If I were an animal, it might just be a prairie dog.  They furrow down into the ground away from the elements and the construct is very intricate.  Serving as a place of protection and shelter, it keeps the coyotes away.  My life resembles that of a prairie dog's lair or whatever you call the place that they live. I'm almost positive it's not a lair, but I want to call it that to make them seem stronger than they are.

You see, I've made a lot of decisions that haven't been in my best interest, but to be honest, I thought they were.  You know how we young folk just pummel ahead and don't look up, usually until it's too late.  Then all of a sudden we're in crisis.  I think that it happens to the best of us.  A lot of my peers are in the middle of their lives being flipped up side down...divorce, illness, relocation, job reassignment, etc.  Our worlds are being rocked, because we've come this far and things haven't quite worked out the way that we thought they would.  You know what I mean...happily ever after.

Almost There!

Well folks...I shellacked the floors last night.  The house is almost finished.  Closing will be soon...I'm hoping tomorrow.  Pray!

So excited about the transition.  Looking forward to a new chapter.  Can't wait!

Had a lot to say, but it got to be a little hokey, so I'll save it for the book.  Anyway, excited about new beginnings and for this big mountain to be moved!

I'll keep you posted on the status of the cozy cottage.

Sweet Spot

So, I am currently at Borders Books and Music again.  When I arrived I was in the middle of the "living room", but I soon eyed a fellow patron getting up from the table adjacent to the window, next to the surge protector, and I pounced.  It's a little chilly, but that is good, because it wards off the "sleepies."

One of the things that I have realized about life is that you have to find your sweet spot.  Michael Jordan did and he is still the greatest basketball player to ever live.  Kids across America are shooting 'J's all day long in hopes of emulating this sports legend.

Something's going on...and on...and on...

Hee hee hee hee!  I am posted up at Border's working on my blog so that it can be distributed into the blogosphere.  I've started several blogs and my poor website needs to be resurrected...soon I hope.  It's under the weather and my plan is to get it up and moving soon, but in the mean time I wanted to set up a blog that I could access from anywhere and I'll link this to my site asap.

Anyway, I just wanted to ponder/reflect upon my current status here in MD.  Yes, I am still single...not the relational status, by the way Happy Valentine's Day to y'all!   So the deal is that we are winding up this whole HOUSE issue.  We're almost at closing...woo hoo!  Keep praying!  I am so excited about that, I don't know what to do with myself...run through the skreets  howling like a wilderness baby, maybe?  (Not a typo...where are my MD folk at!!! Woop woop!)

Some of you may not understand why I would be so anxious to relieve myself of the cozy cottage, but I'll be glad to explain.  Last night I went to dinner with one of my favorite sister girls, and we were having a discussion about being single...yada yada yada.  Not a painful conversation at all, very refreshing as a matter of fact.  I was explaining  to her that I feel like I was "tracked" years ago because of life circumstances. You know those circumstances:  what you look like, what you don't look like,  where you live, who you know...blah, bah blah.

"Tracking" is the method that schools used years ago to classify students...accelerated, average, low.  The students were then taught to meet certain standards based upon national test scores.  The tests didn't consider the child's learning modality or anything else...just percentages from a test.  The worse off were the "low" kids, because they had no room to advance...expectations were low and dreams were annihilated, often.

Well, years ago I think that I got tracked by society...by culture.  I let culture dictate to me what I would do and where I would live and what I would be in life.  I totally fit the stereotypical unmarried, chunky, single, teacher-chick stuffed in the back corner of a suburb, working 12 hour days, whose life seemed to be lost in a warehouse, because there was no tracking number on it...it was generic.  Isn't that crazy?  I think that it happens more often than not though...to a lot of people no matter what they're stats are.  We just go with the flow and we get scared of stepping outside of the parameters that 'culture' sets, so we roll with it and we make adjustments within the boundaries, but we never step out...

It is painful.  As I look back over the past 12 or so years, I think about my life, the good, the bad and the ugly.  Whooo!  Thank God that He works all things together for good or I would be done!

So there's something great about the pending sale of my house...for me it's symbolic of me surrendering my lifelong membership to the "CULTURE CLUB" (Hellooo Boy George!)  I can no longer let life and the sway of outsider's opinions dictate the type of life that I live.

When I was younger and we were on the bus headed to school.  One of my peers stood up and made his rounds asking all of the girls on the bus if they thought his friend B.J. was cute.  When he got to me, he said, "Not you, you don't count."   I think that that memory stuck with me for longer than it should have.  It really seared my heart.  Really it was just culture bullying me back into the corner of life...well, I got news...I'm coming out swingin'! And by the way B.J. was absolutely ADORABLE.  Take that!

I've got stuff to do! I'm a little later than I expected, but I am jumping into life with a vengeance!  First stop Ukraine...

Guys and gals it's not too late...it just isn't...I think about my age and my stats and what I haven't done, and I get discouraged, but my life is in front of me and not behind.  So, I sing and laugh more and I no longer wait for the beginning of my life. I no longer run up perfection hill hoping to lose those 60 pounds on my way to the top of it. Life doesn't start when you get married.  It doesn't start when the kids turn 18.  It started and it gets better when you make it better.

Come on people...we can do it!

What track are you on?  Is it the right one for you?  Are you just going through the motions in hopes that you'll be rescued soon?  

Great Performances at the MET

So I'm sitting here watching this documentary:  Great Performances at the MET.  It's about young, up and coming opera singers who are in are in the running to become a part of the roster at the MET.  Wow!
While I'm watching, I here a young man say that he told his parents that his intention is to the best he can and to give it all he's got.  You gotta love it!

Whenever, I here young folks who are passionate and driven, I get "warm fuzzies".  I wish that I were more passionate when I was in my twenties, or no...maybe not more passionate, but that my passion was harnessed more and directed.  I was young and spunky and excited, but I didn't know what to do with all of that energy and quite frankly, I'm not sure that my predecessors knew what to do with it either. I was passionate and full of ideas about ministry, but they were misdirected and unfocused.  So I sulked and moaned and complained and grumbled, knowing that there was more to Christian life than Sunday-Go-to-meetin' meetings.  At least I thought there was.

Well it's been within the past two or three years, that I've finally discovered what to do with my passion. I'm learning to connect with peers and to plan and follow-through.

I want to be passionate like the young folks in this documentary.  I want to give it my best in ministry...in life.  I don't think that I've ever poured it all into anything...too scared.  Not anymore though.  I want my life to be full and abundant. It's going to come and I am going to give it my all...why not I have nothing left to lose.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

My "cross-the-street" neighbor, as one of my dear friends says is a gourmet caterer, and she just do happens to know how to make some of the best darn chocolate chip cookies that I believe I've ever had.  Anyway, my goal has been to duplicate her recipe by experimenting on different variations of the chocolate chip cookie.

Well today, I whipped a batch of cookies and added all kinds of stuff a little oil, sour cream, extra eggs and more.  They are in the oven now and it looks like I may have over done it on the ingredients that tend to add moisture.  They are melting and there's a big ball of cookie dough in the middle.  Did I also mention that I used two different types of flour: self-rising and unbleached all-purpose?

Back to the drawing board I guess...woh woh wohhhh...

There was a time when I would never have experimented on food and ingredients.  Too much of a punk. A creature of habit.  Here lately though, I am venturing to my wild side and I kind of like it.  When I figure out the magic ingredients I will let you know, but until then a word of encouragement:

Most recipes started off as experiments.  They evolved into tantalizing dishes, and yet may still not be palatable to all.  Experiment a little until you get life right.  There's no magic recipe. Only magic moments between friends.  Try something new and add a sweet twist, you won't regret it!

Thankful

So I woke up this morning with a little bit of a lot of stuff on my mind.  My house is under contract and we're at the mile 24 and it took me a long time to get to this place...longer than it should have, but I was arrested by fear.  I couldn't move, couldn't make a decision.

This morning I find myself in a different place than I was just three months ago, even two.  I'm no longer afraid of life.  Come what may.  I find myself thankful for all of the crazy decisions and the lack of planning and the random thoughts and the mess.  Only because I stepped out on faith, has this happened.  I could be living my same old life, doing the same old things...angry and resentful...but secure and safe, but instead I am here at a crossroads.  I'm crossing over into the life that I've dreamt of since I was a wee little tot, a life where I get to serve and give and create and build.

Some people would have you think that it's near impossible to get to this place, but I say they lie.